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The Knight Constitution
This was required by CUSA to become an official club. This document was actually approved by them. It seems like a lot of writing just to get some free webspace. Okay so maybe it wasn't approved by them.
The Knight Constitution
?The Knight?
We just want to be a club!

Article I ? Name

The name of this organization shall be ?The Knight? unless otherwise noted. Possibly ?El Knighto? in Mexico or Spain.

Article II ? Purpose

The purpose of this organization shall be to promote unity at Clarkson through our satirical bashing and biting wit.

Article III ? Membership

Section 1

Membership shall have no real basis; if one wants to join, they must write and submit articles followed by a brief initiation (kept within moderation).

Section 2

Any Clarkson University graduate student, faculty, or staff member may apply for membership, provided that they meet the eligibility requirements of the CUSA and the club by-laws and they have paid their required activities fee. Bribes also work.

Section 3

A. Members in violation of any rules and/or really piss off the Dictator will be put to death or to work for Aramark.

D. A 2/3 vote of the membership can override any member suspension decision of the executive board. Of course, this won?t really do any good since they will probably already be dead, like when some guy is pardoned like 20 years too late.

E. If a member believes that he or she has been unjustly removed or suspended from the club, they may not possess the Evil Pet with plans to take over ?The Knight.? That?s just not cool. However, hate mail via fax is permitted.

F. All dues and fees paid by a suspended or removed member will be forfeited. And maybe we?ll go get some wings later. While you?re at it, give us that watch too.

Article IV ? Executive Board

Section 1- Executive Board

A. The executive board of this organization shall consist entirely of one Dictator, one Minion, and one Evil Pet. The officers are generally chosen through a coup and remain in power until (1) death or (2) the next coup.

B. The Dictator shall have complete control of the club, and may boss the Minion around at will. The Evil Pet is used for scratching. However, all members have an equal vote; if the vote comes to a 63/Pi majority, the dictator shall be forced to rename ?The Knight? to ?El Knighto? (even if it isn?t Mexico or Spain).

Section 2 ? Election of Officers

Part i ? Elections Meeting
At the Elections Meeting, everyone brings as much food as they can. After the massive eating contest that ensues, the last man standing wins. But ...

Part ii ? Nominations
... in order to be nominated, the prospective nominee must do a monkey dance to please the dictator.

Part iii ? Voting
No member actually has the right to vote except for the Dictator (this rule revises and supersedes Section 1-B). The Evil Pet has absolute authority in the event of a tie.

Part iv ? In Event of Tie
We just discussed this. But upon the absence of the Evil Pet, Adam buys a round for everybody and hopefully they all just forget it ever happened.

Section 3 ? Duties of Officers

Part i ? Dictator
The Dictator has complete control of everything. He is expected, though not required, to execute one member every Wednesday at 4 PM to indicate his complete authority.

Part ii ? Minion
The minion is under the complete control of the Dictator. The position of Minion is usually reserved for the most whiny and obnoxious person who tries to get involved.

Part iii ? Evil Pet
Evil Pet, in addition to his tie-breaking duties, must be scratched regularly while laughing maniacally. Generally, the Evil Pet is a cat or ferret or something equally heinous, but exotic pets, such as mongooses, pythons, that woodchuck thing in the rocks by the ERC, or even oranges may also fulfill the requirement for ?Evil Pet.?

Part iv ? Treasurer
The treasurer does not exist. We don?t need any money. Just love. Love me.

Section 4 ? Removal of Officers

In the event of the proposed extradition of an officer in retrospect of the Immunizational Depredation of Democratic Theocracies in the obligation of the survival of the organization due to the procreation of the intrepidation involving the smiting or decrepification in accordance with Article E Base Sigma Delta without contradiction of the Association for Anticipated Allegations in Antimony, Anthrax, Alabama (AAAAAA).

Section 5 ? Replacement of Officers

If an officer is ?removed? we will hold a brief funeral and banquet for the deceased and their mourning family.

Article V ? Voting

Oh man this thing goes on forever.

Article VI ? Amendments

Amendments as created by the Dictator will be kept in the basement of Cheel on stone tablets as carved by the monster who lives there. Should the monster refuse to carve the aforementioned stone tablets, the amendments shall be written on the door of the third bathroom stall from the back in the bathroom on the third floor of the Science Center.

Article VII ? Meetings

Meetings shall be held as determined in the by-laws. A quorum for a meeting shall be 2/3 of the membership. Meetings shall be announced to the entire membership at least one week in advance. The president may call special meetings.

Note: There must be a minimum number of meetings per semester in order for the organization to be funded, i.e. once a week or once a month. This can be established in the by-laws.

Article VIII ? XII ? Bull
All we want is free webspace. Can we please have free webspace?
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The Knight is in no way associated with anyone or anything. We are not an official Clarkson website. The ads on this site are probably fake, and if you take them seriously then there is something seriously wrong with you, seriously. But seriously, don't take anything from this site, that would make us angry. And if you make us angry, all it takes is one phone call to have Wick on you like butter on bread. Or a super advanced robot from the neo-facist future on bread, whichever you prefer.

If you spot any anything wrong with the site, please email the webmaster so that he may use his web mastery to fix it.

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