For those of you still with us.



Well, I assume you've heard about the recent writer's strike that has affected much of America, and we here at The Knight would like to tell you about how we actually started it. You may notice that there hasn't been a new article in over 2 months, this is because our writers have gone on strike, demanding higher wages because they feel that their articles are the main attraction of The Knight.

Our writers set the trend for writer's around the globe who followed in their steps and quit their writing positions. As our financial records would show you, we here at the knight feel that our actors deserve most of the credit for The Knight's success and give all of our net profits to the star of the Fall Break series.

Since profits have been in the toilet since our writer's have gone on strike, we can't afford to pay anyone anything ever again. This only goes to show that history repeats itself and The Knight will always suffer money problems, ending in a collapse.

We regret to conclude that The Knight will no longer be featuring "funny fake advertisements" but will now have real ones, likely dirty and vulgar ones. And ones that flash constantly and give you seizures. This will take place as soon as we find someone willing to buy our advertisement space.



Thank you, Clarkson Internet Connection, because without you I wouldn't know how dial up users feel every single day. I feel like this whole experience has made me more sensitive, and a more caring individual for those less fortunate than me-- and when I finally do leave this University and can enjoy cable internet with speeds reaching 15mbps down for each user, I can still hold a place in my heart for those still suffering with dial up, or the even slower Clarkson internet. I feel for you, NetZero users, I truly do.



Summer is already over, and that means its time to go back to good old Potsdam, NY to resume our studies at Clarkson. Studying at Clarkson doesn't mean just doing homework, taking tests, and cheating with SparkNotes-- no, it's much more than that. You have to make sure you are meeting the quota for Conventions Defied at any given time at Clarkson, or face an immediate boot from Tony Collins himself!

Our star writer Adam has posted a brand new feature (we make still make those?) regarding the inner workings of the Defy Convention system, so make sure you give that a read.

So with every new year brings a fresh new batch of freshmans, and this year marks our 3rd entry into the realm of the Activities Fair to try to impress them! Every year freshman and other classes alike eagerly approach us asking how we handle the fame and fortune of running The Knight, and we do our best to try and hold off the rabid fans trying to grab a lock of hair from the head of Kevin "K.A. Sacco" Saccoccia while answering these questions.

The Activities Fair is where students can check out clubs like the SPEED teams or ... uh... the SPEED teams, but once you get over the hype of building cars, rockets, and robots, you'll say "But where I can go to get a good laugh?" Well, that place is here my friend. So come on in and make yourself at home, and write a damn article for us so we don't have to.

So look for us at the Activities Fair on Wednedsay, we'll probably have half a table in a corner some where, or maybe if some club didn't show up we hijacked their table and now have a front row and center one. And yes, we are the ones that made that fake physics exam.

The Knight recently received a referral from Google. Usually these searches involve "Clarkson," or "Clarkson Knight," or maybe even "The Knight." But some of these searches turn out to be a little more interesting.

For example, today we have recieved a referral from the search for "i wanna join the neo facist knights." Some one also searched "AFOREMENTIONED EXAM." I guess The Knight is the top website on the 'net to mention these two words together in a sentence.

Someone searched "hot" on google image search, and somehow got back to us through the Dorm Cake. "Clarkson OIT" leads back to us, as we found out. And finally, someone searched MSN.com for "how to cook keish" and some how found their way here.

So a big heartly "WELCOME!" too all of our strange google searching visitors. Enjoy your stay, and praise be to Wick. That is all.

It's official, the greatest google search ever performed that turned up our site is :

prostitute bigfoot "bill clinton"

Generally we're known for bigfoot prostitution, however we neither confirm or deny the former president of the united states having anything to do with it.

The runner-up google search was "scariest website ever" which is very true of The Knight. I couldn't find where The Knight was in the list, but the site-meter never lies. This means that "Norwood Brass Firemen" are pushed back to the third greatest search to date, which held the number one position for about 3 months.

New content is always being formulated. ALWAYS.